August 2nd, 2007

Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum...

I opened my new Netflix envelope (Napoleon Dynamite) only to find an advertisement for...holy crap, am I the last English major to know about this?

Beowulf: The Movie!

Directed by Robert Zemekis! Screenplay by...NEIL GAIMAN? Starring one person as Beowulf and a different person as "Beowulf's physique" and you know what that means...NEKKED! Crispin Glover as Grendel! (WHAT?) Anthony Hopkins as King Hrothgar! Robin Wright Penn as Queen Wealhtheow! John Malkovitch as Unferth! And last but not least...Angelina Jolie as the voice of Grendel's mama!

I can't wait. I love a good Thanksgiving movie. Especially one in which everyone's lying asleep in the meadhall, sated after a huge meal, when a monster comes in to EAT THEM ALIVE! And I'm interested in how the story will be adapted to suit modern tastes. Something tells me the kennings aren't going to do it. Check out the plot keywords (who writes these???). My favorites are "person on fire" and "sliced in two."
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    awake flabbergasted